January 15 • Written by: Jennifer Sierra, LMHC
As an Orlando therapist, Jennifer Sierra, LMHC specializes in helping young adults manage anxiety and navigate life transitions, including challenges in relationships. If you’re wondering whether a friendship has run its course, this guide will walk you through five key signs a relationship might be ending and offer five steps to handle the shift with care and compassion.
Friendships in our adult years can feel like navigating a shifting landscape. Old bonds rooted in shared classes or childhood block parties sometimes feel harder to maintain amidst packed calendars and changing priorities. And, even harder still, you may find yourself questioning whether some long-held friendships are still right for you.
If the thought of growing apart from your current relationships fills you with anxiety or guilt, know that you’re not alone. Outgrowing friendships is a natural part of life—and it’s okay. It doesn’t mean you’ve failed or that you’re a bad person. Instead, it’s an opportunity to reflect on your personal growth, values, and self-worth.
This blog will explore the nuances of adult friendships, why outgrowing some connections is an essential part of your mental health and personal evolution, and how to approach these realizations with compassion for yourself and others.
Why Growing Apart Is Natural
Life takes us on different paths. Whether it’s moving to a new city, changing careers, starting a family, or focusing on self-improvement, your circumstances—and your needs in friendships—evolve over time. Your mid-20s to early 40s is a season of rapid change, often bringing mixed emotions about the connections in our lives.
The Role of Friendships in Personal Growth
Friendships are foundational to who we are. They give us comfort, provide support, and mirror parts of ourselves back to us. However, some friendships simply don’t grow alongside us. If you’re prioritizing mental health, setting boundaries, or striving to become a better version of yourself, you might discover certain friendships no longer feel aligned with where you’re headed.
Addressing the Guilt of Growing Apart
Feeling guilty when a friendship no longer fits is natural. But this doesn’t erase the value that person once brought to your life. It’s okay to cherish the good memories while recognizing the relationship may no longer meet your needs or feel balanced.
Signs That a Friendship May Have Reached Its Season
It’s not always easy to pinpoint when a friendship has run its course. Here are some gentle signs to watch for:
1. The Relationship Feels One-Sided
Do you feel like you’re always initiating conversations or plans? Healthy friendships are built on mutual effort and support. If the dynamic feels imbalanced for a prolonged period, it may be time to reassess.
2. Negative Energy Dominates Interactions
Friendships should leave you feeling uplifted and valued. If you notice constant criticism, undermining comments, or a lack of shared positivity, the connection may be taking a toll on your mental health.
3. You No Longer Share Core Values
Values are the foundation of relationships. If you find yourselves repeatedly disagreeing on fundamental beliefs or priorities, it could signal a deeper disconnect.
4. Growth Is Met with Resistance
It’s natural to want the best for those we care about. If your personal growth—whether it’s committing to anxiety therapy , pursuing a dream, or setting boundaries—is met with resistance or judgment, the friendship may not feel as safe or supportive as it once did.
5. Conversations Feel Forced or Surface-Level
Do you struggle to connect meaningfully or feel like conversations lack depth? If the relationship feels more like an obligation than a joy, it may be worth reflecting on its current role in your life.
Recognizing these signs is not a directive to immediately end the friendship but rather an invitation to reflect on its place in your life.
Navigating the Transition with Compassion
Outgrowing a friendship doesn’t mean “cutting someone off” abruptly or without care. Instead, consider these thoughtful steps to approach the situation:
1. Reflect on Your Feelings
Give yourself time to process. Journaling or working with a counselor can help you map out your emotions and understand why the friendship feels misaligned. If you’re in the Orlando area, seeking anxiety therapy in Orlando can offer tools for navigating complex feelings about these changes.
2. Decide on Boundaries
Not every shifting friendship requires a formal “breakup.” Sometimes it’s about adjusting the dynamics—communication frequency, expectations, or the type of support you offer each other.
3. Hold an Honest Conversation (If Necessary)
If the friendship was deeply meaningful to you, consider having an open, respectful conversation. Frame your feelings around personal growth rather than blame—for instance, “I feel like we’ve both grown in different directions, and I want to honor that.”
4. Be Open to Ebb and Flow
Some friendships naturally fade and reignite later, while others may settle into a lighter, more casual rhythm. Leaving space for this possibility can ease the pressure of “finality.”
5. Lean on Your Support System
Processing these changes can feel isolating. Surround yourself with a supportive network of friends, family, or mental health professionals. They’ll help you maintain perspective and a sense of self-worth.
Building New Connections That Align with Your Growth
Outgrowing a friendship creates space for connections that align with your current values and passions. Here’s how to foster new, meaningful bonds as an adult:
- Pursue Mutual Interests: Join local groups or online communities centered around hobbies, like book clubs, hiking meetups, or creative writing forums. Shared passions provide natural opportunities for connection.
- Be Open and Curious: New friendships often begin with small talk or shared experiences. Stay curious about others and don’t shy away from deep conversation.
- Nourish Existing Relationships: Sometimes, the connections we’ve overlooked deserve nurturing. Reach out to old friends or acquaintances to see if your paths align now.
- Remember Quality Over Quantity: Fewer, deeper friendships that support your mental health and personal growth are far more enriching than a large network of casual acquaintances.
Building connections takes time but prioritizing authenticity ensures the bonds you create are fulfilling and long-lasting.
Honor Your Journey and Theirs
Every friendship, even those you outgrow, plays a role in your life story. Moving forward doesn’t erase the good times or lessons learned. It simply reflects who you’re becoming and your commitment to surrounding yourself with relationships that uplift and support you.
Are You Ready?
If you’re ready to explore these changes, consider working with a therapist who can help you process emotions, set healthy boundaries, and rebuild confidence. Start therapy today.
Are You Ready?
If you’re ready to explore these changes, consider working with a therapist who can help you process emotions, set healthy boundaries, and rebuild confidence. Start therapy today.
About Jennifer Sierra, LMHC
Orlando therapist, Jennifer Sierra LMHC, offers a compassionate and creative approach to mental health. She specializes in working with clients struggling with anxiety and difficult life transitions. Jennifer is a licensed mental health therapist as well as certified in integrative mental health. Jennifer Anxiety therapy helps you make sense of it all, break old patterns, and rediscover calm and connection.
